As a queer person, I totally understand the struggles that we face. Especially in Mississippi, it can be hard to find those spaces where you feel completely comfortable being yourself. For anyone, but especially queer people, it is so important to build your support group and find people to surround yourself with that let you just be yourself! This has been quite a journey for me throughout the years, but I definitely feel that I’m currently in the best environment I’ve ever been in.
Before I moved to Oxford, I did not have as big of a support group as I have here. I had friends who accepted me, but it wasn’t quite that “queer space” that we really and truly need. For example, somebody who is trans might find it difficult to thrive in a space where they are “accepted” but people are using the wrong pronouns for them. This person then finds a group that always uses or makes a conscious and serious effort to use the correct pronouns and name for them. This is such an important difference! Acceptance is so much more than saying “I accept you!”. It’s in your language and actions every single day, but I’ll make another post about that another day as it’s a topic that can be expanded almost infinitely.
So, how did I know when I was in this extremely positive queer environment for myself? It started with moving away from home, as it does for many queer people. It is common for the beliefs of one’s family environment to not match up with their identity, and sometimes just getting out of that space is the best option when opinions are not likely to be changed so easily. (Again, another topic for another day!) Before I moved, though, I began to find that community at my workplace, which actively accepts and even celebrates the LGBTQ+ community. All of my coworkers were compassionate and I could not thank them enough for that. Not only was I accepted, but I was accepted to the point that being gay didn’t even cause a hiccup in conversation. If I was talking about my girlfriend, nobody even flinched or thought twice about it. My gayness was not some faulty personality trait in that environment;It was just me.
Unfortunately, I had to move away from that to come to Oxford. I had just begun seeing the sprouts of the positive seeds my coworkers planted in my life, and now I had to uproot them and try to get them to grow elsewhere. This seemed such a daunting task, but I but my all into watering those seeds. I joined the student organization UM Pride, and instantly found amazing friends. That first meeting was honestly overwhelming for me because I had no idea that I would find that amount of love and support in one room.
Since then, I’ve thrown myself into participating in nearly everything that I possibly can with Pride. I’ve attended my first pride fest, as well! It all started with taking that step and looking for the people that were going to support me. I’ve learned a lot about the LGBTQ+ community from everyone and like everyone is, I’m always still learning new things. The best way to learn about the queer experience, of course, is to interact with queer people and learn their individual experiences. I’ve gained some really amazing best friends and the community here is awesome.
All things said, I’m so glad to have found this for myself. I don’t know how I would have survived here without such a positive queer community. There’s no doubt that some awesome things are happening at Ole Miss for the queer community. We even had the LGBTQ+ lounge in Lamar Hall open this school year! Of course, nothing is ever perfect, but every step forward is important.
So, what does my support group really look like right now? It consists of best friends, coworkers, fellow UM Pride members, events, pride fests, and a million other things that keep me grounded. If you are queer yourself, I urge you to seek out those places that celebrate and validate you and your identity. It sometimes may seem so dark around us. We may just have to work a little to go and uncover those shades that are hiding the light we are seeking, and then we ourselves can begin to glow. I wish you all of the best in looking for that support for yourselves.
At the end of the day, our community thrives on supporting each other. If we aren’t supporting each other, we’re being silent where it matters most.
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