A Few Ways To Be A Good Ally

So, you want to be a good ally to the LGBTQ+ community? Well, there are millions things that can help you to achieve that, but here’s a few that are super important.

1. Share your pronouns even if you’re cis. Sharing pronouns is so important for inclusivity. A great habit that I’ve come to appreciate in myself and others is to refer to anyone who has not disclosed their pronouns to you with the singular “they”. Of course, after you know someone’s preferred pronouns, you will use those to refer to them. Never intentionally misgender someone, and apologize if you do accidentally. Everyone makes mistakes, but you should not be consciously and continually misgendering people.

2. Go beyond just caring for those you know. The reality is that we may not know someone who covers each identity. This doesn’t mean that we cannot seek to support those identities that we are less familiar with, though. Aim to educate yourself, especially on those topics you are least knowledgeable on.

3. Nobody likes being political, but without getting specific I just want to say this on this list: If you are voting for elected officials that are going to harm the rights of LGBTQ+ individuals, you are not an ally.

4. Listen to individual experiences. Every person’s experience and life as an LGBTQ+ person is unique. We often have similarities, but no one person’s experience is ever going to be the same as someone else’s. 

5. Support queer creators and their creations. There are queer writers, artists, photographers, and much more in so many places around the world. Seek them out and support them as much as you can.

6. Don’t assume every person you meet is straight! This one is classic. You’re at your best friend’s wedding, and naturally, someone asks when you’re going to get married. For me, I get asked a lot when I’m going to “get a boyfriend”. If we eliminated this talk completely, it would eliminate that anxiety of being forced out or simply having to pretend to be straight. Approach conversations about relationships with an open mind, and don’t place heteronormative ideals on people if you don’t know if they’re straight or not. 

7. Don’t assume everybody wants to be out or is safe to be out! If a friend comes out to you, it is never your place to tell other people about someone else’s identity, even if you think that person would not mind you telling others. Of course, if this is a mutual friend and they have been told by that person what their identity is, that’s a different story. Don’t go telling everybody you know that your friend is gay/bi/trans/ace/etc. That is their story and coming out is such a personal experience. Do not steal the power of someone else’s coming out. 

There are a million ways to be a good ally. The best way to support those immediately around you is to just ask what you can do to be more inclusive and supportive.